How Can They Even Sell Hamburgers!

Here's a public service announcement from the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine:



Nice, huh?

Changing the subject a bit, it occurred to me after watching this how I never walk through the animal flesh section of the grocery store anymore (sometimes it's unavoidable depending on what store I'm at, but I never slow down to look at the carcasses and severed bone and muscle). It's almost like the whole meat section doesn't exist.

I think about Anna. She goes to the store with me on occasion. When we get groceries we are confronted with the exact thing we oppose: animal exploitation. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with it as she gets older. I'll try to make a lesson out of it, I guess. But depending on how emotional she is and her ability to empathize, I could see some seriously difficult moments at the grocery store. Four aisles of dead animals. Damn.

Anyway, there's the reality that a lot of stuff you find in the grocery store is just crap. It's bad for you, it's bad for the environment it's bad for the animals who eventually became those nuggets people buy or suffered to produce the milk people drink. Not everything vegan is good for you (or the environment). I'm not suggesting that. But non-vegan stuff is almost always waaaaay worse.

Veggie Nugget #10

The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than black people were made for whites or women for men.

-Alice Walker, American feminist, author, Pulitzer Prize winner

New Year

Well, we had a New Year's Eve party again this year. Here are some photos of the food.

I made some great vegan corn dog nuggets (basic recipe for vegan corn dogs can be found here). I actually made them the day before because they make the house smell like a restaurant. Then I just popped them in the oven for a half hour or so on New Year's Eve.


I also made some barbecued seitan. Just pull apart a bunch of seitan, throw it in a crock pot with barbecue sauce and a few hours later you have the best damn sloppy joes you'll ever eat. These were a hit with the meat eaters.


And of course we had the requisite salsa and guac.


I also went out and bought a bunch of vegan queso from the Triple Rock in Minneapolis. This stuff is to die for. Unfortunately, I didn't get a good photo of it. Anyway, it was good.

Some friends brought fruit. By far the healthiest thing at the party.


Oooh, and there were these vegan rum-balls that a friend's non-vegan mom made. The rum wasn't cooked, so they were very strong and not for the kids. Mmmm, alcoholic dessert.


And we made some chocolate covered ritz peanut butter sandwiches. I can't believe we've never made these before. They were really easy and tasted soooo good. Put some peanut butter between two ritz crackers (I used the 365 brand from Whole Foods, but Ritz crackers are vegan, too) and then cover that in melted dark chocolate. If you're using natural peanut butter (and you should be) then I suggest adding some powdered sugar to it to stiffen it up a bit. Oh, and I think chunky peanut butter would work just as good, if not better. Might have to try that next time.

I added sprinkles to one just so see how it would taste and to add a bit of color. It didn't taste great, but looked pretty.


We had some chocolate left over so we covered some freeze-dried strawberries in it. Yum.

The next day was a short one for me. I got up around noon and took a nap at about 1:30 after eating a few saltines and having a few sips of Sprite. While I was dreaming my hangover away my wonderful wife made beer bread with some of the way-too-much beer we had (and still have) left over. Here's Anna stirring the batter and making an odd face, somewhere between pride and effort, I think.



All in all it was a great couple days. The New Year's party was kid friendly until the kids went to sleep or left. Then it turned into an all-out orgy of board games and drinking too much. And by orgy, I mean low key night. And by drinking too much I refer mostly to myself. But by board games I mean board games.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Balls

So we're leaving soon for North Dakota to visit family for Christmas. This means that I get to make peanut butter chocolate balls! I love sharing, but truth be told, I make them for selfish reasons. A lot of the goodies people put out at Christmas just aren't vegan. So here I come with a big tupperware container full of these puppies and problem solved.




Here's the recipe:

Ingredients:
-1 jar peanut butter (the kind that separates)
-1 package of graham crackers (there are usually 3 packages per box, the Keebler original are the only vegan ones I can find)
-2 cups of powdered sugar
-1 stick of softened margarine (don't melt it, just soften it)
bunch of vegan chocolate chips (it may take a couple bags, depending on the chips)

Method:
-Crush graham crackers into almost a powder (I use a rolling pin)
-Combine graham crackers with the powdered sugar, peanut butter and margarine in a large bowl.
-Mix together with your clean hands (or a spoon) until everything is well combined and the color is consistent. The stuff shouldn't be sticky or gooey. If it is, add more crushed graham crackers.  Roll into balls about an inch in diameter. You'll probably have anywhere from 25 to 40 balls.
-Melt chocolate chips in a double boiler. I use an old frying pan with some water in it and then put a sauce pan in the water. Put the chips in the sauce pan, turn the heat on low.
-Drop a ball in the fully melted chocolate. Use a couple spoons to coat the ball and then place it on a sheet of waxed or parchment paper (which is in turn laying on a cookie sheet or something else you can pick up and put in the fridge). Um ... repeat for each ball.
-Once they're all coated put them in the fridge and let them cool off for at least a couple hours. Yeah, just try to wait that long.
-Best if served directly from the fridge, since they can get a bit melty if sitting out too long. I hear using baking chocolate will take care of that problem, but I haven't tried it yet.

These freeze wonderfully.

I also made some peanut butter rice crispy bars for the second time in less than a week. The recipe for those can be found here . I didn't take any photos because, well, they're just rice crispy bars. And the photo on the page I just linked to looks pretty much how mine look.

In the Loop

So, I didn't get to 50,000 words on the novel.

But I have a good excuse! I read an essay on Minnesota Public Radio's show In the Loop on Thursday.

The show is taped live, which means I got to read in front of a hundred-some people. I loved it. Reminded me of the stand-up comedy days of my youth.

I'm not going to tell you what the commentary is about though, you have to go here and listen (you need Quicktime, if you don't have it then you might be able to listen by downloading here). Or, if you use iTunes, you can download the podcast here.

I recommend you listen to the whole show, but if you really want to listen to my commentary it's somewhere in the middle.

But like I said, listen to the whole show. It's really good. And then when you're done and thinking about how much you enjoyed it, take the time to send MPR a quick note and let them know how great In the Loop is.

Happy Thanksgiving, Tinkerbell!

As I mentioned before, we started a new Thanksgiving tradition this year and "adopted" a Turkey. Here's the adoption certificate we received in the mail:


Tinkerbell is going to have a happy Thanksgiving just like the rest of us. Tinkerbell is not food. Tinkerbell is a Turkey with her own interests and we here in the Little Piggy household are happy to make her life better by donating a little money.

By the way, if you want to adopt a Turkey you can do it here.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Freakin' Sweet!

A voicemail of mine was played on the most recent Vegan Freaks podcast. I'm totally flattered (and freakin' famous!). If you want to listen to it, go here (unless you don't like profanity). And I'm not going to tell you when the voicemail is so you have to listen to the whole thing (which you should do anyway, because it's entertaining and informative and, hell, why not subscribe to it while you're at it?).

Anyway, I shamelessly left the address to this blog on the voicemail and, oops, it's November and I'm not really updating this month because I'm participating in National Novel Writing Month (and before you say, "So?", you try writing 50,000 words in thirty days ... that's what I thought ... now go back to doing whatever it was you were doing before you said, "So?").

All right, so because I feel like a lazy ass for not posting any original content on here in a couple weeks, here is an excerpt from the novel I'm writing. It's not actually part of the story yet, but it will be soon. I think the scene will be the main character and his wife and child will be driving out of the city and he will play a game I call Billboard Depression where he looks at the passing billboards and comes up with ways they are not vegan. And it will go ... a little something ... like this (oh, and there's some profanity in this as well because my main character swears a lot):

Burger King – meat, milk, eggs, one-stop-death-shop. Avenue Q musical – there’s probably meat back-stage at the production. Quest broadband ad with baseball guy Joe Maur – wearing a leather glove. Cabela’s – dead animals and things to kill animals with. Cub Grocery Stores – meat, dairy, eggs. AmericInn – probably have leather furniture. We Sell Hotels – the hotels likely have leather furniture in them. Grand Casino – oh, the buffet’s at casinos are chock-full of artery clogging crap. Crystal-pierz marine – leather seats. Sportsman’s warehouse – bows, bullets, guns, deer piss, camo, all of these things allow pencil-dicks to do what they claim is natural. Pulte Homes Realty – The homes that Pulte sell likely have glue in them. Discount Tire – animal products are used in the manufacture of tires. Quitplan.com – my guess is the pills that quitplan gives people to stop smoking was researched on some other non-human animal. Coors Light – actually vegan, but Coors brews a few honey beers. Chris Vivea realtor – again, selling houses built with glue. Don’t Serve Alcohol to Teens – but think of the other crap parents give their kids. Key Cadillac – yeah, I’d like to key your Cadillac. Especially if you have leather seats. Health Partners – most modern medicine was tested on animals, some even have animal products in them, like egg in the flu shot. Farm Bureau For Life – want to learn how to build a more effective killing machine? Fairview Health Systems – I’ve been to a Fairview hospital. They had a fucking McDonalds in it. Blue steakhouse – me man, me eat meat, ugh. US bank – what companies does the bank invest in? Some of those companies thrive on the exploitation of animals. Minnesota Children’s Museum – my daughter loves this place. So far, I’ve been able to keep her away from the caged turtles. Becker furniture – selling uncomfortable sticky cow-skin furniture since 1958. Kenneth Cole – dead cow on your feet. Ultra Diamonds – you can’t just be vegan and ignore all the other injustices in this world. Diamonds are blood-ridden. Affordable Lakeshore Living – Let’s devastate every last square inch of shoreline in the Land of 2000 Lakes. Let’s make it the land of 2,000,000 lake homes. The Jungle Book on DVD – Wherein we are told that tigers have a natural hatred of man. So … animals are capable of hatred toward humans, but not of love toward each other? KFAN radio station – there is a KFAN restaurant in Roseville, MN wherein much meat is served. AT&T – there is a theory out there that posits that the recent large-scale die off of bees in North America is due to high cell phone usage. I don’t think this is a crack-pot conspiracy theory, but I could be wrong. Albertville Outlets – outlet stores including Nike, Old Navy and many other stores with questionable assembly worker standards and plenty of animal skin clothing. SA jumbo hot dogs – for when regular-sized pig asshole and cow eye just won’t be enough to fill up your graveyard stomach. T-Mobile – they sell dead cow covers for cell phones. Culvers – you won’t find a better crap-hole to stuff your face-orifice with the rotting, ground up flesh of cows and pigs and the twin cholesterol bombs of egg and dairy. Uptown eye care – chances are that they give away saline solution that was tested on animals. Abortion Stops a Beating Heart – right, and we don’t want to stop hearts from beating, do we? Petro2 – Buy our gas, pollute the environment, detroy nature. Ryan Auto – leather seats. Carhartt – leather boots. Becker home center – leather furniture. Perkins – we have pigs in a blanket, except the pigs are dead and the blanket is made with eggs and milk, taken from chickens and cows that lead lives of suffering and then are killed when they’re not longer “productive”. Moon Motorsports – sit on a leather seat while you tear through nature. Mcdonalds. Lund Boats – sit on our leather seats while you disturb the water and trick fish into biting a hook. Call it a sport, then you won’t look psychopathic. Gull Lake RV – leather seats. Saddle Tack – sit on a dead cow while you ride a horse that you have no business riding. Callan’s Furniture – glue, leather. Arrowwood Resort and Conference Center – we serve dead animals. Monticello RV Center – Fully air conditioned so your sweaty legs won’t stick to that dead cow flesh you’re sitting on. Fly STC Airport – and just try to get a vegan meal on one of our flights. Radisson – nothing says good morning like salty fried fatty pig flesh. Days Inn – nothing says good morning like the menstrual waste of a chicken. Eich Mazda – leather seats. Lundrigan’s Clothing – leather. MacDonald’s – you can trace America’s obesity problem back to our first resturaunt. AmericInn – the missing “a ” is for animal parts for breakfast! Holiday Gas Station – come on in and buy the day-old rat meat we pass off for hot dogs. Pilot Travel Center – do vegan truckers exist, and if so, where do they eat? Kelly Inn – leather furniture. Keith’s Kettle – judging from the size of the man on the billboard… Scheels – leather shoes made by children for peanuts. Clearwater Travel Plaza – there’s a Jesus fish on the billboard, but there isn’t much compassion on their restaurant menu. Gatr Trucks “Gatr done!” – leather seats. Travelodge – food. Busweiser – the beer is actually vegan, but they still own those Clydesdales. Probably bought them from a breeder. Miles Outland – selling recreational vehicles with leather seats. Shorewood RV – leather seats. Strack Commercial Construction – they use glue made from hoofs. Motel 6 – do they have continental breakfasts? If not, they probably have cream for the coffee that they probably have in their lobby. Crafts Direct – paintbrushes made from horse hair. Hennen’s Furniture – leather. Country Inn and Suites – meat for breakfast. Jim’s Snowmobile and Marine – ride on skin seats while you disturb habitat. Holiday Gas Stations – eat shit for breakfast! Literally! Dairy Queen – sure, she looks good straight out of high school, but all that cholesterol will catch up with her soon enough. Charlie’s Café – we actually ate there shortly after going vegan … big mistake. Dairy Queen – now serving meat, too! Boomerang Marine Sports – leather. Shell Gas Station with Subway and A&W inside – meat, meat and more meat. Real Dairy Country – ugh, this land is my land. Centra Sports – leather seats for your big ass. Country Inn and suites – meat, leather. Albany Family Restaurant – thank you Lord for making a sentient being live a live of suffering so that we can satisfy our taste buds, Amen. Farmfest – dammit. Albany Racing – yeehaa, don’t spill any pig juice on your cow skin! Stop Aquatic Hitchhikers! – And while you’re at it, stop preying on aquatic creatures. Douglas Furniture – leather, glue. Dakota Magic Casino – buffet of death. Applewood Homes – glue. Glenwood State Bank – investing in companies that benefit from animal exploitation. Lutefisk – fucking gross. Burger King – remember, chicken wings are actually chicken’s wings. L Motel and RV Park – leather. Smiley Gasmart Delimax – did I read that right? What. Smiley Gasmart Delimax? It sounds like a nightmare rest-stop from the post-apocalyptic future. WeDoCows.com – we’ll help keep your cows alive as long as they are profitable for you. Lea’s Pet Products – serving animals we call “pets” the meat from animals we call “food”. Rudy’s Redeye Grill – blech. Westside liquor – serving non-vegan alcohol, made with gelatin and fish bladders. The Buck Stops Here – ad for bullets, what a clever ad, so witty. People don’t kill bucks, bullets kill bucks. Truckers Inn – featuring a menu from the bottom ring of hell, whatever ring that would be … the one where omnis are being kept in gestation crates. Chevy store Sauk Centre – leather. Coborns Food Evansville – meat. Central Marine and Sport – selling things to fish with. Carpet One – glue. Master Lumber – there’s probably glue involved in some of what they sell. Piano World – glue, and they don’t use ivory anymore, do they? Leather Plus – fuck you. Stubs Marine – fuck you too, Stub. Fat Daddy’s Bar and Grill – fuck you five time sideways, Fat Daddy. Triple P Auto – leather. Papa Murphys – pizzas of death! Dakota Magic Casino – buffet of death strikes again! Blairview Saddle Shop – what would people say if someone started selling saddles made from horses? And why? Doolittles American Grill – this land is your land. Scandinaivan Gift Shop – wool, probably some leather. Big Chief – so, so wrong. Prairie St Johns – they provide drug treatment and probably a lot of egg-filled doughnuts. Remember Our Defenders – almost all of whom ate meat, cheese and egg while defending my freedom to not eat those things and persuade every single person I know from joining the armed forces. Select Inn – food. Master Builders – glue. Space Aliens, “Fill Your Inner-Space” – with shit.

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Ha! Congratulations if you made it through all that. Hmmm, I wonder if this will increase my google hits. Just think of all the people who will search for "Fat Daddy's Bar and Grill" - "vegan" and end up here?

Pyramids of Doom!

Take a look at this. And I mean really look at it and digest what it's telling you.


If you want to view the chart at its original location, you can go here.

Interview With a Lifelong Vegan

Here's an interview with a lifelong vegan. It makes me very hopeful. Enjoy!



What makes me so happy is that in about 20 years, this won't be as big of a deal. This video will seem quaint. Each generation will see exponentially more and more lifelong vegans. I'm feeling very positive at the moment. Woot!

Oh, and for those of you who care, I've written over 5,500 words of my novel for National Novel Writing Month. I'm actually behind pace a little bit, but I'm confident I'll succeed.

The Fall

Here are some recent photos of Anna. I'm not going to be updating the blog that much during the month of November, since I'm participating in National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write 50,000 words in 30 days. We'll see how that goes.

Anyway, here are some photos to hold you over.

Anna stacked these by herself. She was pretty proud.


Photos from Mounds Park in Saint Paul, running down a hill and swinging (two things she loves to do):










And some from around the yard:




Yes, our daughter hugs trees.