Girls scream. Boys scream. We all scream for soy cream.

Last night I promised photos, a recipe and a harrowing soy cream story. I also said that I thought I may have made the best soy cream I've ever tasted.

Well, good news. Not only am I going to deliver on my promises, but I can honstly say, after tasting the hardened soy cream I made last night, it is ... I'm pretty sure it is, at least ... the best soy cream I've ever tasted.

But first, the harrowing soy cream story:

A few weeks ago I was thumbing through Veganomicon and came across the basic vanilla soy cream recipe. I looked at the ingredients, nothing too fancy. So I thought to myself, I can DO this! In fact, I have all of these ingredients right here already!

I broke out the blender that night, threw in the ingredients, blended 'em up and put it in the fridge to cool. Then I read the instructions on what to do next.

Wait, wait, wait. You need an ice cream maker to make ice cream? Really?

I know, I know, I know.

I don't know why I thought it could be so easy. I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe I was hoping you could blend it up and throw it in the freezer and somehow just will it into soy cream after that? It was not one of my brighter moments. But, I'm human. There are things that I'm just plain ignorant of, and as of a few weeks ago how to make soy cream was one of those things.

What would you do in this situation?

I ran out to the nearest department store and picked up an ice cream maker. Came back home and was all ready to make soy cream. That's when I realized I needed rock salt.

Is this story boring? Not quite harrowing?

Screw it then, I'm just going to skip to the part where I eventually made the vanilla soy cream and it tasted great. Oh, and I made my own magic shell mocha chocolate topping using Vegan Dad's recipie. That Vegan Dad. He rocks.

I was going to take a picture of the soy cream with chocolate on top, but realized that I could never get a photo as nice as Vegan Dad's. So go to that website I just linked to if you want to see what it tasted like. It was great.

Fast-forward to last night when I go for round two of soy cream making. I was already determined to spice it up a bit ... none of this plain vanilla shit for me anymore. That's old hat. I want new hat!

So here's what I came up with:


That's Mocha-Vanilla Soy Cream with Chunks of Chocolate Covered Pretzels in it Right There, See?

And here's the recipe.

Mocha-Vanilla Soy Cream With Chunks of Chocolate Covered Pretzels in it Right There, See?

Hint: Before starting, make sure you have an ice cream maker. Oh, and you'll need rock salt too.

Ingredients for soy cream:
1 cup cream of coconut milk
2 cups soy milk
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 box of silken tofu
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
3 tablespoons instant coffee (I used this stuff)

Ingredients for chocolate covered pretzels:
20 pretzels or so (the straight ones are easiest)
Vegan chocolate chips (about half a bag)
Few tablespoons smooth peanut butter (or not, it's up to you)

Instructions:
I suggest making the pretzels first (I also suggest making more than 20 because they are scrumptious on their own). Melt the chocolate and peanut butter together, then dip pretzels in the melty goodness. Place on wax paper (on a cutting board or cookie sheet or something). Put in freezer to harden. Cut up frozen chocolate covered pretzels into little chunks. Put back in freezer.

To make the soy cream, blend all ingredients up in your blender until it's all one color with no chunks. Then follow the instructions in your ice cream maker's manual.

Once the ice cream looks like it's about done, throw in the frozen chocolate covered pretzels and run ice cream maker for about five more minutes.

Place final mixture into tupperware and freeze. See if you can wait until it's actually frozen before you have your first bowl. My bet is that you can't.

Here's a closer shot:


So, the root of the recipe is Veganomicon's soy cream recipe. I basically doubled it and added stuff. I hope I'm not infringing on copyright or anything. How about this: If you make this recipe, you are legally bound to buy Veganomican if you don't already have it. Deal? Deal.

Oh, and the "bowl" is an old Corning tea cup that my parents gave me in college when they got new dishes. We only have two. I love these things. We use them for everything except tea. They're perfect for soy cream, since they provide built in portion-control. And my wife's family had the same dish set growing up. So it's a nice all-around reminder of youth.

But I digress. I can't wait to make more soy cream, even though the days are turning cool.

The End